No, I’m not thinking of the people in charge of a certain bank that I love to hate. We’re talking about actual vermin here – and our house is full of them! It could be that it is their appreciation of Prince, which is often on full blast in our kitchen, that draws them to our house in particular, but I suspect that it is rather a general problem in Clapham. Most likely they have built an elaborate tunnel system connecting all the basements on our road, if not all of residential Clapham!
We've been under siege by the mice for a while now, and the rat poison we have been leaving out for them just made them stronger. No wonder, their likely being the descendants of a particularly bold and heroic mouse, which god knows how made it all the way from the kitchen on the ground floor to my unsuspecting flatmate's room on the third floor, into said flatmate’s bed and finally into her (very curly) hair, where it tried to make a little nest. We have tried letting the neighbour’s cat in, a mean-looking son of a bitch, but it quickly ran back out into the garden when the mice pulled out their very own catapult and started to bombard it with dried chick peas. They have started leaving out threatening notes for us - 'All humans out now!' – I fear that their next step will be leaving rat poison in our coffee. Now I don’t like the prospect of that at all, for unlike the mice, I don’t think I’m immune to it! This clearly cannot go on any longer.
Apart from catching the mice ourselves and chopping their heads off to put them on little cocktail sticks around the house, it seems we have two options: get a cat (an even meaner one than the neighbour’s) or call vermin control. I’ve done some research to see what’s available on the Southside and here’s an exclusive selection what I came up with:
Blue Cross homeless cats – 02079322370
Battersea homeless cats – 02076223626
Celie Hammond Cat Rescue in Lewisham – 0208 694 6545
Lambeth Pest Control Department – 020 79268860
Express Exterminations (love their name!) – 0800 321 3217
1 comment:
OH dear! Hope you manage to get rid of the little buggers.
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